I always believed Pranab Mukherjee should have been the chief of our intelligence agencies. The man is being wasted as a foreign minister. Just look at the talent.
On December 20, he said the most profound and investigative bit of sound byte that has ever come out since November 26. The man went up to the bank of television news channel mikes and calmly declared 'November 26 was a cold and calculated terror attack'.
Come on, I bet my last penny you didn't know that. Actually I'll confess I didn't.
All this while I was thinking that ten young boys from Pakistan came somewhere near the shores of Karachi wanting to escape the maths exams they were having in college.
One of them- I don't remember the name- looked into the vast expanse of the sea, saw the ships out in the horizon and said' why don't we take one of them and set sail to let us see where the winds take us'.
The other nine- not good at numbers and formulas anyway- agreed.
As they were about to enter the ship, one maulana in a red beard nicely-trimmed exactly to a palm's length told them that they could carry some AK-47s with them along with a week's supply of bullets and grenades. Now the ten guys said 'what the heck' and took the consignment.
Somewhere near the Gujarat coast, they saw an Indian vessel- the Kuber- hopped into it and after lazing around for some time decided they needed to do something to pass time.
In a consensus of ten is to none, they killed the skipper of the boat and set sail for India. Actually that wasn't palnned, it was just that the wind like a good migrant was blowing towards Mumbai.
They reached here, went to CST, where someone told the ten that carrying so much luggage in the CST-Karjat fast would be a problem. Once again in a consensus of ten is to none, they agreed to leave back two of the chaps at CST while the rest proceeded in groups of two to the Taj and the Oberoi, probably to catch the CST-Karjat the next morning when it is relatively less crowded.
The two chaps at CST were having trouble with their luggage still. So one of them suggested 'why not load our guns- which leaves the bag with the bullets empty- and why don't we just go out and spray it at the crowd. I'm sure they will think it is some good harmless fun'.
Meanwhile the chaps who went to the Taj didn't like the room service there and the chaps who went to the Oberoi didn't like the rooms they got- none of them were Marine Drive facing.
The same old problem with the extra luggage came to haunt these two groups as well. And they found the same solution that the two chaps at CST found.
The sequnce of events that unfolded next I presume you know. The cops, the bullets, the Marcos, the NSG, the nuts the bolts and the like. And the news anchors and the shrieking comperes. Sixty hours later the picnic ended.
Now I bet that is how you thought this whole thing happened. Now you know better I presume. And you know who to thank now. Our one and only Pranab Mukherjee.
Thank you Pranabda for telling us that this whole fucking mess that was created for sixty long hours starting November 26, 9:50pm was a planned one.
Thank you so much.
And thank you sir for giving us a government that single-handedly has made all Indians ashamed of themselves.
We'd rather you just tell us that we got screwed for sixty hours. We'd rather that you tell us 'be prepared for some hardship for a few months for when we come back' we'll have some place in the map for a desert on our left. A desert formerly called Pakistan.'
We'd rather you told the world 'we're good souls who get socked on the chin once, but we're not good enough souls to not esnure the body that held the hand that socked our chin gets the kind of dismemberment that would be a vulture's nightmare'.
See you guys. I hear Pranabda's is going to address another press conference in an hour's time.
I bet he'll clear a few doubts of mine.
On December 20, he said the most profound and investigative bit of sound byte that has ever come out since November 26. The man went up to the bank of television news channel mikes and calmly declared 'November 26 was a cold and calculated terror attack'.
Come on, I bet my last penny you didn't know that. Actually I'll confess I didn't.
All this while I was thinking that ten young boys from Pakistan came somewhere near the shores of Karachi wanting to escape the maths exams they were having in college.
One of them- I don't remember the name- looked into the vast expanse of the sea, saw the ships out in the horizon and said' why don't we take one of them and set sail to let us see where the winds take us'.
The other nine- not good at numbers and formulas anyway- agreed.
As they were about to enter the ship, one maulana in a red beard nicely-trimmed exactly to a palm's length told them that they could carry some AK-47s with them along with a week's supply of bullets and grenades. Now the ten guys said 'what the heck' and took the consignment.
Somewhere near the Gujarat coast, they saw an Indian vessel- the Kuber- hopped into it and after lazing around for some time decided they needed to do something to pass time.
In a consensus of ten is to none, they killed the skipper of the boat and set sail for India. Actually that wasn't palnned, it was just that the wind like a good migrant was blowing towards Mumbai.
They reached here, went to CST, where someone told the ten that carrying so much luggage in the CST-Karjat fast would be a problem. Once again in a consensus of ten is to none, they agreed to leave back two of the chaps at CST while the rest proceeded in groups of two to the Taj and the Oberoi, probably to catch the CST-Karjat the next morning when it is relatively less crowded.
The two chaps at CST were having trouble with their luggage still. So one of them suggested 'why not load our guns- which leaves the bag with the bullets empty- and why don't we just go out and spray it at the crowd. I'm sure they will think it is some good harmless fun'.
Meanwhile the chaps who went to the Taj didn't like the room service there and the chaps who went to the Oberoi didn't like the rooms they got- none of them were Marine Drive facing.
The same old problem with the extra luggage came to haunt these two groups as well. And they found the same solution that the two chaps at CST found.
The sequnce of events that unfolded next I presume you know. The cops, the bullets, the Marcos, the NSG, the nuts the bolts and the like. And the news anchors and the shrieking comperes. Sixty hours later the picnic ended.
Now I bet that is how you thought this whole thing happened. Now you know better I presume. And you know who to thank now. Our one and only Pranab Mukherjee.
Thank you Pranabda for telling us that this whole fucking mess that was created for sixty long hours starting November 26, 9:50pm was a planned one.
Thank you so much.
And thank you sir for giving us a government that single-handedly has made all Indians ashamed of themselves.
We'd rather you just tell us that we got screwed for sixty hours. We'd rather that you tell us 'be prepared for some hardship for a few months for when we come back' we'll have some place in the map for a desert on our left. A desert formerly called Pakistan.'
We'd rather you told the world 'we're good souls who get socked on the chin once, but we're not good enough souls to not esnure the body that held the hand that socked our chin gets the kind of dismemberment that would be a vulture's nightmare'.
See you guys. I hear Pranabda's is going to address another press conference in an hour's time.
I bet he'll clear a few doubts of mine.
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