IPL at all costs

On Wednesday under the cover of darkness and in utmost secrecy a plane carrying 25 National Security Guard commandos took off from a military airport near Panesar in Haryana and left forydney. According to highly placed sources, the plane left after agriculture minister Sharad Pawar and home minister P Chidambaram had a long chat that extended well into the night at the latter’s library where Chidambaram was reading a book ‘ How to fool everyone during recession’
According to a military official who was present in the meeting because the book belonged to him, the discussion was on how the government could save the Indian Premier League from being confined to the cans for this year after the terror strike on Lankan cricketers in Lahore early this week. A top BCCI official made a PowerPoint presentation for Chidambaram which showed that there was almost Rs 2500 crores to be made from the IPL this year alone. And since where there is money, there has to be a minister or several ministers, both Pawar and Chidambaram agreed that the IPL had to be conducted come what may.
Accordingly, the military top brass made a plan to induct superbly trained NSG commandos into several teams and disguise them as regular players and send them out on the field.
It was this batch that took the flight that left for the Australian Cricket Academy in Sydney. The consensus was to send them to the Indian one in Bangalore but both ministers agreed that the NSG guys would come back with terrible fielding skills and will also have the propensity to scoot off to shoot for advertisements in the middle of regular terror operations like the Taj or Nariman House

However touched by the amount of effort Messrs Pawar and Chidambaram were putting in to ensure the IPL goes as per schedule, top ranking officials in the Prime Minister’s Office told this blogger that many ministers and politicians had come forward to add their mite to get the extravaganza going.
Many netas promised to play in the teams as and when the NSG guys falls short. Of course these netas would be in disguise. But this blogger after much research has been able to crack the code that would allow you to find out which neta is playing whatever be the disguise.

Here is the lowdown on the code:
If you see a fielder who lets the ball pass through his legs every time and then, wagging his finger at the batsman, shouts ‘streect akshaan bheel be taken if you do it again’, rest assured it is Pranab Mukherjee.

If you spot a fielder running to the stands and sitting between some skimpily-clad celebrity- however worthless talentwise- and grinning from ear to ear when the celebrities are being photographed, bet your last penny it is Amar Singh.

If you see a cricketer going up to the stump microphone and sourly hissing that the captain is no good and he would have been the ideal captain, then be sure it is the one and only Narayan Rane.

And if you see somebody who is completely hopeless batting, bowling, fielding, appealing, running, stumping, catching, cheering, shouting, and just about anything else that is required in modern cricket, but if you still find every other player praising him to the skies- calling him Sachin Tendulkar, Michael Holding, Jonty Rhodes, Don Bradman, Gary Sobers rolled into one- look no further. That man is our own Rahul baba Gandhi. And every other player on that team are old fossils from that fabulous organisation called the Congress Working Committee chaired by rahul baba’s mummy Soniaji ‘mother of India’ Gandhi.

As and more leaks from that meeting come to this blogger, he will update you. And if you can crack some more codes, try to ensure no one gets to see the crack.