ramdevitis is spreading fast

While the world is talking about the swine flu and the super speed at which it is spreading, everybody seems to be forgetting that just four hours of television viewing- only the news channels mind you- should be good enough to convince you that a far deadlier disease, currently called ramdevitis, is spreading at an even faster rate.Ramdevitis is a disease that scientists found after watching television channels and reading newspaper reports. These scientists say it is mainly found in babas and godmen, most of them as fraudulent as a three rupee note. Its main carriers are television channels like India TV which in case of an absence of any videos showing ‘swarg jka raasta’ fall back on babas and sadhus with ramdevitis.Scientists said the disease is named after Baba Ramdev- the sadhu who does all those body-twisting asanas wearing a lungi and has a permanent twitch in his eye. Now ever since TV channels started showing up at his doorstep, the man, from spouting about the power of yoga, has moved on to trying to rid India of corrupt politicians and also to saving Indian culture now that is expected to fall flat in three months since Section 377 legalized. On Monday (27/7) Mumbai Mirror carried a front page story on the latest baba down with ramdevitis. Some Jain monk- with a mouth mask made popular long before swine flu- has a particular problem with the Indian Navy naming its first nuclear submarine Arihant.Now the chaps at the Navy thought it to be an apt name because Arihant means ‘destroyer of enemies’ in Sanskrit. But who will explain that to our good little Jain muni.He is particularly miffed because Arihant also happens to be the name of a particularly sagely and peaceful tirthankara- or prophet- and giving it to a killer submarine is highly distasteful and hurting to the Jains across India.That is where the problem begins. It like saying calling anyone a lungi or a nariyal paaniwala is hurting to the mallus whereas being one of them I know that you can call a mallu anything- and I mean anything- as long as you give him his visa to Qatar, Kuwait and all the other parts of the Gellfff in time.
At last count more than 90 percent of the Jains in India- a very industrious and wealthy community- could not have been less bothered if the submarine was named Arihant or ‘Phatti Pant’ as long as the share market was doing well and there were enough people to lend money to.But who explains that to the good muni who after all was feeling the pinch of giving a good byte to the accompanying TV and paper chaps.At the time of writing this blog, the name of the submarine is Arihant. But if the Grand Old Party goes back to its old ways of pleasing all for votes, they might change it and name it ‘Rahul baba’. Watch it.